And I see myself, flat, ridiculous a cut paper shadow

And I see myself, flat, ridiculous a cut paper shadow

170 x 130 x 3cm

varying papers, watercolour, glitter, sequins, adhesive pottu

This is a life-size self-portrait made primarily in response to a paper prize exhibition.  I thought I would be disgustingly grotesque and spew forth paper as painted, penciled, cut, sculpted, glued and stuck.  The piece extends upon themes I have been exploring in recent work since my return to Melbourne (Australia) after about 5 years away.  It is an acute contemplation of my self and of the adjustments we make to ourselves in our departures from or re-arrivals to place.  In making the work I was heavily upon two poems by Sylvia Plath Tulips and Mushrooms.  My thoughts were slightly absurd and oddly familiar, I had studied these poems in VCE literature, such a distance in time, between that past me and who I am: how I read then and how I read now.

And I see myself, flat, ridiculous a cut paper shadow

170 x 130 x 3cm

varying papers, watercolour, glitter, sequins, adhesive pottu

DETAIL

And I see myself, flat, ridiculous a cut paper shadow

170 x 130 x 3cm

varying papers, watercolour, glitter, sequins, adhesive pottu

I have spent and continue to look for ways of redefining the shadow metaphor in our western culture – as motif, as a word as an image – particularly as a way.  As a way to define the in-between places of our Western - Eastern cultures and collisions.  To define the hybrids, the half-castes and the half way there’s we keep getting towards.  I disabuse it.   The shadow I believe is a contemporary cultural icon able to represent for us the shifts and difficulties and mergers of our contemporary nowadays world.  And I still feel my work will continue to do this – keep searching out, keep looking, as long as I can continue to do this, keep looking, keep searching out.  But every so often I get tired of this.  I get tired of myself and I see myself flat, ridiculous a cut paper shadow.  And every so often this thing that I keep working towards and for, I use it against myself.  To do injury.  And so five years ago – I was half sick of shadows.  And I take this icon that I spend so much time looking towards, badly.  I misuse it. And I take the worst of our cultures, of our hate and fear and mistrust of shadows – of others - and use it against myself.  I turn myself into myself.   And look at this other mirror of me.